How to gain 4lbs and get uber-tan legs in one weekend.
Step 1: Buy a last minute Acela ticket to Boston. Sit across from a very attractive man who you chat up for two hours of the trip. Be sad faced that he is married and email Goldie, “why can’t I ever meet guys like this who are single?”
Step 2: Arrive in Hingham just in time for cocktails. Be lucky enough to have hosts like Kelly and Dennis.. Kelly had this amazing artichoke dip and pita chips waiting for me and Dennis wisely put the martini glasses in the freezer in the afternoon.. this made for perfectly chilled glasses for our cocktail hour Cosmo’s.
Step 3: Once the homemade artichoke dip is molested and you’ve goofed around with little C, sit down for Kelly’s delicious homemade pizzas. Despite the fact the Top This, Pizza Crust which she used was thin, you end up being perfectly sated from the slices of fontina, prosciutto and asparagus as well as the tomato, basil, mozzarella pizza’s.
Step 5: Wake up the next day and have a sugarfree redbull and slice of cold leftover pizza for breakfast. Kelly and Dennis tried to feed me a real meal but that’s all I wanted.
Step 6: Head to the beach with Dennis, Kelly and Little C. Have Kelly wait on you hand-and-foot. Feel awkward about it and say something to Kelly to which she responds, “you are our guest”. Be beyond happy to be sitting in the sun (even though you hate it) cause you have a glass of Limoncello Lemonade in your hand Kelly’s chicken salad sandwich on delightful brioche in your lap. Eat BBQ Lays despite the fact that they are 180 calories for 10 chips.
Step 8: Drink Dennis’ Don Julio margaritas whilst eating raisin crostinis with ricotta cheese and honey.
Step 9: Come back inside for more margaritas and the first course: Corncakes with Avocado and Tomato.. Declare yourself too full from appetizer and first course to eat dinner.. It’s decided that we all want to go straight to dessert.
Step 10: Decline 3rd margarita.
Step 11: Attempt to elegantly eat ice-cream sandwiches Kelly made. Fail miserably.
Step 12: Go to bed full and tipsy.
Step 13: Wake up the next morning and have Dunkin Donuts breakfast wrap Dennis and Little C picked up as you watch Kelly made homemade Buttermilk Blueberry Muffins.
Step 14: Step away from the British Open to eat Bluberry Muffin once its cooled down.
Step 15: Complain how full you feel.
Step 16: Head to the pool and then split mozzarella sticks and half a Buffalo chicken wrap with Kelly.
Step 17: Declare that you are never going to eat again.
Step 18: Return to NYC, get on the scale, see the weight gain and decide to go back on gluten free diet.
Thank you Kelly, Dennis and Little C for the amazing weekend.